What Have I Done?
by GoldenPeak
Summary: Set after those four famous words. "Love fades, mine has." Rose took it pretty well, but what if she didn't? She'd been through a lot, and he cast her aside. Sometimes people are unpredictable, no matter how well you know them. (rating may change, we will see. But for now, Sorry.) REWRITE


_Love_ _fades, mine has._

 _Love fades, mine has._

Flashes of his beautiful face crowded my dreams, no, my nightmares. Those deep brown eyes, ringed in a sinister red. His perfect smile. Blood dripping from those fangs. A little girl. She was dead, white, her body covered in ice. Swings creaked and groaned in the background. Longing showed in his eyes. Then we were there. In that horrible place where he had weakened me. Made me his personal strigoi blood whore. Then, Victor Dashkov. Vegas. He was there, in the stair well. His eyes were narrowed with hatred and malice. He was going to kill me. The man I loved, kind, gentle, fierce. He was a monster. I had made him that way. I showed weakness. There he was. He was weak, crying to Lisa. He.. I had never seen him cry before, never seen him so weak and vulnerable.

 _Love fades, mine has_.

I woke with a start. Tears were streaming from my face. Anger welled inside of me, but it didn't last long. It never did. All I had done since he uttered those four little words was cry. I had hope and joy, to see him strong, color in his skin and life in his eyes. Hope for the future, joy that we had overcome this together. But that small sentence had crushed me inside. Emotionally beaten any and all love I had into a little steel cage, deep in my heart. He threw away the key. Destroyed any chance I had of ever loving again. Just as well. I couldn't bring myself to eat. I hadn't eaten in two weeks. I got up to use the bathroom. Glanced in the mirror. God, I looked awful. Like a skeleton draped in skin. I was pale, my eyes hollow. I was badly bruised. As a result from not eating, I wasn't healing from my training. I grew angry again. I loved... had loved him. Risked my future to kill him and release him from that evil state. I had given him my virginity, and he had gladly taken it. I almost lost my future, my best friend. He had taken my innocence. destroyed my love and shattered my heart. I busted a felon out of a high security prison, put my best friend in the highest of dangers, just so we could love again, and he tossed me aside like a used q-tip. There was nothing worse than this. At least for me. What made me more furious than I had been, was to him, it didn't matter what I had done. All that mattered was that Lisa had wielded the stake. The rest was water under the bridge. At least I had been drinking fluids. No water though. To accompany my tears, I had indulged in alcohol to numb the pain, and to numb spirit. The last thing I needed was Lisa making me feel bad about my decisions. I didn't leave the house. and I was out food. Didn't matter. I wouldn't eat it anyways. Finishing up, I crawled back under my covers, curling into a pitiful little bony ball. I didn't even notice the little knock on the door. Until it grew more desperate. Annoyed at being disturbed from my wallowing, I stumbled, grabbing the half empty beer can along the way. I threw back a gulp, and stumbled to the door. Fumbling with the handle, I managed to open it. It was Lisa, and when she saw me, she burst into tears. I must have looked like complete and utter shit. Dirty sweats, matted hair. Skin and bones, holding a beer can in a shaky hand. She started to reach out, and I promptly slapped her hand away. She just looked like the gift of life. But even though I couldn't sense it, I could see it. She wanted to. Badly. She wanted to heal me and make me look pretty again. Acting like the naive little princess she was. "What do you want Vasilisa?" I snarled. She flinched at my use of her royal name. "Oh God! Rose, what have you done to yourself? Is it spirit?" "How nice of you Lisa, to take my pain and suffering and make it revolve around you. Tell me, why after TWO WEEKS do you finally stop to see how pathetic little Rose Hathaway was doing. I doing just fine. Just ask the 3 empty cases of beer, 5 bottles of cheap ass red wine, and thirteen jars of margarita mix." 'Rose please, please let me help you. I don't understand what's going on with you. I thought you would be happy about Dimitri". She said it. She said the d-word. The he-who-must-no-be-named. Now I was fuming "It will only take a few minutes."she pleaded. "You would know Princess" I spit that word out dripping with acid "if you paid attention to anything outside of your privileged bubble. Why don't you go ask your new little dhampir errand boy if he knows of anything that could have possibly hurt me so deeply." She's now worked her way inside. "Please, Rose" She bent down to pick up an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. I thought I could feel steam blowing out of my ears. "Get out." I whispered. "Rose" This time I was growling "Get out" "But" "GET OUT!" I yelled. And she backed out of the door, tears streaming down her face. I slammed it behind her, and sank to the floor, sobbing.

Dimitri's POV

I was reading one of my old novels, when there was a soft knocking at the door. There were guards outside. I could overpower them both fairly easily if I wanted to. Another test to see if I was still strigoi.

For them to let any so close as they can knock on my door, either they were important, or lethal. I got up and opened it. An angry, sobbing princess greeted me. But she was still gracious. "May I come in?" she asked. I motioned for her to enter, and the guards oddly made no protest. She sat down, and that's when it started. "do you know how Rose is?" she asked. I shook my head. She pulled a laptop from her bag, and set it on the coffee table. Opening it, she typed in a few quick things, and opened up a video file. Tears were once again streaming down her face. Then she spoke. And I was stunned. "She's dying. Killing herself, slowly." "What did she say to her? There were four words on her arm. Raised scars. If I remember correctly, it was two words, coma, two words, period." She said it more like a question. It popped into my head, a light in the dark. "I didn't think she would take it that hard." She turned the computer towards me, and promptly pressed play. "After three days of not seeing her, I waited until I was certain she was asleep, and then I sent someone to install cameras. Everywhere except the bathroom of course. Iv'e literally been watching her waste away. She only leaves once every three days. In that time, she's depleted herself of alcohol, and leaves to get more." What I see is mostly drinking, sleeping, sobbing, and throwing up.

It killed me inside that I had hurt her so badly. Finally, she asked "Would you like to see live feed?" I nodded, and after a few clicks, a camera came up. Of Rose. She was standing on the ledge of her ninth story window, looking down. She turned her head, looked directly into the camera, and mouthed "I'm sorry" before she teetered forward, and fell. Lisa screamed, I called her name. _My Roza_. I thew myself out into the hallway, Lisa failing to keep up with me. I took the stairs three at a time, all the way to the bottom. I got there, just as she hit the ground. What had I done?


End file.
